This week I suffered what I call “confusia”. It’s not confusion or dementia, it’s confusia. I felt unsettled, restless, upset, and disoriented. It must be me, I thought. I’ll go to a support group meeting, I’ll say prayers, I’ll center myself, and I’ll read more inspirational sayings.
Then I learned someone who’s close to my kids had passed. Right, of course… that’s what it was. And my teenage son hadn’t been able to sleep at the same hour this person died. Also this week coming back from a dinner out, our eleven -year -old was holding a deck of cards. He said to his teenage brother, “I’ll send you the image (mentally). See if you get it. ”
“It’s the seven of hearts,” my older son said sitting in the front passenger seat of the car. It WAS the seven of hearts. My yougest showed it to us from the back seat. My teenage son looked surprised.
I know things. The kids know things. You know things …because we are all psychic, sentient beings. Sometimes I get busy with life out there. I shop, I care for the family, I watch a show, and I read the headlines. I forget. I forget to remember at some level we are all one, and we often experience another’s experience as if it was our own.
I learned about psychic journaling more than a decade ago. It’s when you write down intuitive events or feelings and see if they make sense later. Perhaps you have a detailed dream about someone you know, you have a nervous stomach, or you receive mental impressions suddenly about a situation. Then, later, you hear news affirming the dreams, feelings, and impressions. Right now I’m realizing I need to pull out my diary again. Psychic journaling helps me to see there really are facts within my intuitive experiences. Having a feeling or an inclination that seems very strong, as if it is pushing in on me, and not of me, is a common occurance. Writing down the feelings and experiences and then any follow up facts that I get later, helps me to see that I really am sensing events outside of myself.
During the month of February I had a two -day obsession with stand up comedy. I looked up comedy classes, watched a documentary on The Comedy Store, then wrote some stand -up jokes. I also looked up near-by comedy classes. My husband took notice because I was actually on a comedy roll, doing brief routines about our life, while sitting on the couch.
The following evening, a well-known standup comedian and writer died. He died the same night he had performed a stand up routine in Los Angeles, where I also live! My obsession with stand up suddenly lifted. I presume I was picking up on his lift off from earth.
When I remember to remember that I’m connecting on all sorts of intuitive levels, that I channel energies, that I feel others’ emotions, then it doesn’t seem so much like confusia! That’s where journaling makes a difference. When I commit feelings to paper, when I see evidence of actual patterns, it brings relief.
And about earthquakes…if I can’t hold my head up in the middle of the day, and I have to sleep, it often means there’s a big quake far away or a smaller one nearby. It’s happened for the past two weeks. I’ve conked out in the middle of the day or early evening. Then there was the big quake in Nepal and a flurry of small quakes here in California. It’s not conventional psychic knowing, but it is a form of sensing something is afoot. It’s my body sensing that earth is on the move.
I’m not sure of the difference between psychic abilities and evolving sensitivities. But I am aware that accepting “what is” puts me in the moment. When I let go of trying to understand or fix my upset and/or my sleepiness, I allow it to move through me. The journaling helps me to see the context sometimes and for that I’m grateful.
I know things, my family knows things, you know things. I’ve heard countless stories in my time about people “just knowing” about something that was life -altering or simple that they had not been told about, but sensed anyway.
When I can remember to journal I do. I also talk out my unexplained feelings with friends. When I can’t shake them off, I exercise or meditate in nature or ride my motorcycle. I also surrender to sleep at the most unexpected times. However, the most relief I get is to acknowledge that sometimes I just don’t know what I’m feeling and that there’s a decent chance they are not my feelings anyway.
Dear intution journal, when I write down these wild experiences, my world makes a lot more sense.