I had a friend when I lived in Savannah, Georgia, who used to say in her fabulous southern accent, “If it looks like a snake and acts like a snake, chances are it’s going to bite you if you pick it up.”

During the past few months I’ve witnessed the recovery of many women who went under the spell of new age gurus, who happened to be men. Now, lest you think I’m on a male witch hunt, I assure you I’m not. I have been very happily counseled and mentored by a few male gurus who had psychic abilities. 

That being said, what are a few warning signs that you’re about to go into an inappropriate relationship with a man who knows about healing, psychic abilities, Shamanism, ancient aliens, or law of attraction. 

Sign #1 He tells you he’s been chosen by the universe to be your master teacher.

He uses  his abilities as a weapon. He lures you in with charm and advanced wisdom then begins to observe and “get things” about you.  For example, you have certain personality defects he can help you to heal. Or he is YOUR teacher, the universe has ordained it so. 

Sign #2 You have a true blue soul mate connection. 

You both look into eachother’s eyes and shudder. He tells you you’re the only one- the soul mate. He’s had previous girlfriends, but they couldn’t be trusted so he had to dump them. In fact, he’s still healing from being dealt such rotten luck.

Sign #3 He spies on you psychically. 

After you’ve been out with friends he texts you saying he could “feel” you were out with men. He didn’t like it. He scans you a lot and then tells you what he’s getting about your feelings and environment.

Sign #4 He’s a new age expert, just ask him.

This man is a show off. He has thousands of YouTube subscriptions and followers online and at seminars. However, he hasn’t been traditionally published and no one who’s a big name in the psychic /new thought community has endorsed him. He also may be relatively new to the scene. 

#5 His own spiritual guidance sounds a lot more like ego (edging God out) than divine guidance.

This man gives lip service to following spirit. Yet, you can’t help but notice, he likes to be in control, not only of his career, but you.

#6 His behavior often doesn’t match his words.

He talks a great game. He’s in an ailing relationship and soon to leave it. He wants you to be happy and make your own best decisions, but he knows the best way for you to do that. 

Sign #6 You feel drained when you are with him. 

You have spent solid time and effort getting to know spirit.  You have your feelings and you have faith. You recognize how powerful the feminine/ Goddess energy really is. He seems to enjoy that about you. It almost feels like he’s tapped into you as you tap into source. 

What’s the payoff?

So, typically we don’t do these things unless there’s a payoff. Are you looking for a short cut?  Such as- I’ll follow you, have great sex along the way and absorb your wisdom without all the work.  Sure, I’m kind of selling my soul, but that’s ok.  I’m bored and insecure, this makes me feel validated right now. I come from a very dysfunctional background and this guy matches that vibration, I feel comfortable.  I don’t raise these topics to shame anyone, but we have to look at our part in it to move forward. Believe me, I know a lot about taking shortcuts.

What’s the Rx?

So, what’s the cure? You unwittingly find yourself in the middle of a relationship with Mr. Guru.  First of all, check to see what your body says. Does your stomach hurt? Does your brain ache from over thinking?

Next, check it out with friends, spiritual counselors, your own intutition, your angels, your psychic, your therapist.  It may take the jaws of life to get you out! But heaven has resources! The point is, we can be tempted to give our power and self- authority over to another. Especially when that other has bright, shiny credentials, is attractive, seems spiritually hooked up, and speaks with authority.

A married mentor told me her ideal is when a couple stands side by side and looks out together. With a questionable new age guru, the woman is placed in a lesser, side-kick position. He looks out and she’s asked to look at him in all his wisdom.

If you have found out you love the message but not the messenger take action now. You’ve got this. Spirit has many teachers both physical and invisible. But the good ones don’t want to control you, they want to empower you. 

I started this talking about snakes. In the old west they had snake oil salesmen, bad guys offering help under false pretenses. Don’t buy what they’re selling.

Blessings, Lorraine